I've recently been considering taking up self-inflicted head-injuries
as a hobby.

Do any of you guys have any experience in this?

For example, what should be my weapon of choice when it comes to
inflicting these wounds upon myself?

I wish to maximise scalp and possibly skull injuries without leaving
myself with a lasting neurological deficit that would render my new
hobby out of bounds.

The first implement that springs to mind is a hammer. But should I
choose a claw or a ball pein?

How about a brick or a paving slab dropped from a height?

I've even considered riding my motorbike into a bridge support at
speed while not wearing a helmet, but the results would be probably
too unpredictable for that to work.

C'mon! Make some suggestions people.

I really need some help here guys!

Ta.

--
Brian

"Brian Nobble" <bigbadbriannoble@certified.co.yuk> wrote in message
news:kv6fnvslc0ds0gpsesmer9ku1s9ms8qjve@4ax.com...

Have you tried

The Penge Trepanning Centre
69 Samos Rd
London
SE20 4Q2

Tel 0800 holeinthehead

?

On Mon, 29 Sep 2003 04:18:03 +0100, "Yanart Amin" <Sean@okilfoyle.tv>
wrote:

No.

Thanks for the suggestion, but I actually don't wish to go down to the
dura. I also wish that all of my injuries are due to blunt trauma and,
at most, result in skull fractures that do not require medical
attention (I wouldn't know how to explain my injuries at A&E).

No, what I'm looking for is methods for producing maximum scalp injury
and minor skull fractures whilst causing minimum brain damage.

Suggestions appreciated.

--
Brian

How about heading butting plate glass window. Maximum scalp damaged, very
little skull damaged.. One thing though wear goggles to protect your eyes.

Why not use a stanley knife to cut your scalp from the back of one ear,
around the back of your head to the other ear, then (and you might need
slightly long fingernails for this) grab the scalp and pull it forward as
hard as you can round to your forehead.

Get a 45 and aim it at your temple.
"Dr.Toger ²°°² :->" <dr_toger@bigfoot.com> wrote in message
news:bla0c3$jlr$27@news.boltblue.com...

Just do what this guy does:

http://www.933flz.com/audio/video.asx

massivechicken


"Brian Nobble" <bigbadbriannoble@certified.co.yuk> wrote in message
news:kv6fnvslc0ds0gpsesmer9ku1s9ms8qjve@4ax.com...

"Brian Nobble" <bigbadbriannoble@certified.co.yuk> wrote in message
news:kv6fnvslc0ds0gpsesmer9ku1s9ms8qjve@4ax.com...
My first ever memory is of falling backwards off the work-top in the kitchen
(which I climbed onto using a stool) and cracking my head on the concrete
floor. I cried as noone came to my rescue, thinking "bloody hell, shouldn't
that have killed me?".
Since then I've always bashed my head in occasioanly (used to be by accident
many years ago) and its never really done much to me, injury wise. So I'm
thinking that really bad smash as a small child has led to my freaky
resistance to head bangs. Ofcourse, driving a pavement slab into my head
would knock me out. But the milder things (which most people scream in pain
at) dont bother me. I'll get to the point anyhow...

If you want head injuries, become a high flying professional wrestler. And
always take things that one step further. Eventually you'll mess up and
hopefully recieve a nice head injury. Have a few barbed wire matches. And no
holds barred matches. And cage matches. They always draw blood from the
head. I also recommend you start up your own backyard wrestling club. Get
your mates to come along and pound you. Get them to piledrive you on a
concrete floor. I'm sure they dont know the first thing about wrestling and
so are more likely to do your head in more, and accidentally almost kill
you.

HTH

E.'

The Lord alerted my mind to the presence of this EVIL article by Brian
Nobble, and I thusly replied:

I bashed the bishop once. He gave me a clip round the earhole.

--
The Reverend Parson Peter Parsnip

Smiting Revenge Against Sinful Usenet Users Since 1874
"My little finger shall be thicker than my father's loins" - Kings 12:10