Hello, you have reached the ______________ Police Department Voice Mail.

Pay close attention as we have to update the choices as new and unusual
circumstances arrive. Please select one of the following options:

To postulate whether someone has to die before we'll do something about a
problem, press 1.

To whine about us not doing anything to solve a problem you created
yourself, press 2.

To report an officer for bad manners when in reality the officer is trying
to keep your neighborhood safe, press 3.

If you would like for us to raise your children, press 4.

If you would like us to take control of your life due to your alcoholic or
chemical dependency, press 5.

If you would like us to instantly restore order to a situation that took
years to deteriorate, press 6.

To provide a list of police officers you personally know so we will not take
enforcement action against you, press 7.

To sue us, tell us you'll have our badge and pay our salary, or proclaim our
career is over, press 8.

To hear this menu again, wrap aluminum foil around your head and turn around
three times.

ñKs wrote:

I know it's a parody, but it does have an awful ring of truth about it.
Certain nutters are trying to introduce this system to the emergency
services in England
To get an answering machine in the middle of being attacked or robbed is a
nightmare scenario!

"TRADESMAN" <kenny.priory@invalid.com> wrote in message
news:br9740$nsa6$1@ID-204610.news.uni-berlin.de...

Well, if people continue dialling 999 because they don't know what heat
setting to iron trousers on or because they can't get a lid off a
jar............

lisa g wrote:
Mmm..... to be taken into consideration, but at least a live operator can
judge the urgency of the situation. If *you* ever needed urgent assistance
and got put on hold by an answering machine, I doubt the first thought
running through your mind would be " this is the price I pay for past time
wasters". Be honest, do you *really* think that this American trend should
be adopted by UK emergency services?

" Be honest, do you *really* think that this American trend should
NO - I was joking