Someone was asking about cat daddy recently.
I just stumbled across this while sifting through
"My Documents" folder. Below is a "rebroadcast"
of a cat daddy post from Christmas Eve, 1999 --
a tribute to the whimsical spirit he brought
to this NG:
--------------------------------------------------------------
***The NIGHTMARE before Christmas.........***
'Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the hovel.
A vile creature was rummaging,
A mutant with shovel.
A size 41 boot hung
from a root in the lair.
A lump of coal and a turnip
Were all that were there.
For Santa came early
And was now tied to the bed.
His vision was blurry
A large bump on his head.
In a dank, smelly corner
On his shoulder, a vole.
There arose such a clatter
gangle was digging a hole.
Barely seen in the moonlight
Through the gaps in the tin.
Santa's moans were a'muffled
By the terrible din.
Had his eyes not swelled shut
Nor his hearing been damaged.
He'd have witnessed the carnage
As the mutant had rampaged.
Laying strewn in the rubble
And cowering in fear.
Was a mangled-up sleigh
And eight tiny reindeer.
And the little old mutant
Grumbling, shoveling, casts blame
Ranted and shouted
Calling every foul name.
"Now Santa, you bastard!
Now get in this hole!
To be buried up to your neck
'Cause of this *present* of coal."
"So I've been *bad*, so you say
Well, just look at yourself.
Covered in ashes and soot
You're a filthy old Elf."
"Sneaking around
In the dark of the night
There's no difference between us
'Cept I know how to fight."
"And maybe my eyes are all bloodshot
And my cheeks are all sallow.
And there's filth in my beard
And my three teeth are all yellow."
"But, I'm taking over, you see
This racket you run.
Now it's *my* turn for the cookies
And the milk and the fun."
Then, gangle twisted his head
Stuck his thumb up his nose.
And grabbed the scared reindeer
Out of his hovel arose.
He sprang to his barn
Disclosed the unknown factor
And hooked up the team
To the front of his tractor.
And jumping aboard
He let out a yell.
And leaving a stench like
An unbathed mutant from Hell.
And he evilly exclaimed
As he lurched out of sight.
"I coming into *your* home and YOURS!
Pleasant *dreams* and sleep tight........."
HA
HA
HA
HA
HA
HA
(ho, ho)
HA
HA
etc.
*Lock those doors and windows, folks!*
