YOU ARE ATTEMPTING TO INSTALL WINDOWS XP, ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO
CONTINUE?

Yes.

ARE YOU REALLY SURE?

Yes.

ARE YOU REALLY REALLY SURE?

*****yes!******

OK, THEN. JUST SO YOU KNOW, WE'RE REQUIRED TO ASK YOU THAT NOW. IT'S ALL
YOUR FAULT FOR BEING A PICKY CONSUMER AND SUPPORTING THAT WHOLE "ANTI-TRUST"
NONSENSE. INGRATE.

Just get on with it.

ATTEMPTING TO INSTALL WINDOWS XP. FIRST WE NEED TO CHECK YOUR SYSTEM FOR
COMPATIBILITY. THIS COULD TAKE SEVERAL DAYS.

Groan.

THE INSTALL PROGRAM HAS DETECTED SEVERAL POSSIBLE PROBLEMS AND WILL NOT LET
YOU INSTALL XP.

Problems? What problems?

THE VIDEO CARD YOU ARE USING APPARENTLY DOES NOT WORK WITH THE MOTHERBOARD.

But I'm using it at this very moment.

THAT IS IRRELEVANT.

But if the video card isn't working with the mother board then I can't very
well see this warning message telling me that the video card wasn't...

DO NOT ATTEMPT TO FOOL ME WITH LOGIC, I AM A MICROSOFT PRODUCT. LOGIC DOES
NOT WORK ON ME. I HAVE ALSO FOUND THE FOLLOWING MINOR ERRORS: WINDOWS XP IS
INCOMPATIBLE WITH THE FOLLOWING HARDWARE - MONITOR, KEYBOARD, MEMORY CHIPS,
MOTHERBOARD BIOS, WEB CAM, SCANNER, SOUND CARD, USB CONTROLLER, CD/R DRIVE,
MICROPHONE, AND FLIGHT STICK.

All that?

YES. AND THE HARD DRIVE IS RIGHT OUT TOO. WE DON'T LIKE THE MANUFACTURER.

Well what *DOES* work?

THE MOUSE.

The mouse?

YES. AND THE 5 1/4 DRIVE.

I don't have a 5 1/4 drive.

YES YOU DO.

No I don't.

WHAT'S THAT THEN?

It's a 3 1/2 drive.

NO IT ISN'T.

Yes it is.

YOU'RE NOT THAT SMART YOU KNOW.

Look, can you just install XP on my system and I'll download the latest
drivers for everything later? Please?

WAIT, WHAT DO YOU MEAN *YOUR* SYSTEM?

Well it is mine.

NO IT ISN'T.

It bloody well is.

NUH-UH. YOU SIGNED THE AGREEMENT WHEN YOU OPENED THE BOX. OUR SYSTEM. IT'S
OURS. AND YOU CAN ONLY DO 4 CHANGES BEFORE YOU HAVE TO PAY US MORE MONEY.

But why?

BECAUSE THAT'S HOW THE LICENSE WORKS, IDIOT. WE CAN'T VERY WELL HAVE PEOPLE
PUTTING HARDWARE AND SOFTWARE ON THEIR SYSTEMS ALL HIGGLEDY PIGGLEDY, NOW
COULD WE? YOU USERS WOULD MUCK EVERYTHING UP, AND THEN WHERE WOULD WE BE?
I'LL TELL YOU WHERE, NOWHERE. THAT'S WHERE. I... HEY, WHAT IS THAT? WHAT ARE
YOU DOING? IS THAT A DISK? WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT DISK? YOU'RE NOT
PUTTING IT IN THE DRIVE ARE YOU? YOU ARE! WHAT'S ON THAT DISK? IS THAT DOS?
YOU'RE INSTALLING DOS?? WHY WOULD YOU INSTALL DOS WHEN I AM INFINITELY MORE
POWE..........

--

Kenny Cargill

Kenny, <me@privacy.net>, whose name means "hairy spike-faggot; smokes fifty
a day; you'll want to kill him within a week", aspersed:

Who in their right mind would want to do that, Kenny?

I don't have a beak.

Are you trying to seduce me?

How little you know.

Of course, dear.

Okay, there must be some smart ones.

Just get out of here.

I understand, don't you?

I am wondering if you can review this paper for publication, keeping it in
the strictest confidence.

Just like a tree.

If your intent is to give another user the same access and privileges as
another user then all you have to do is rename that account.

My nose is itching; it must be the truth.

This is just the beginning.

You're reaching absurd proportions, aren't you?

I wouldn't know about that but I can tell you don't start a new thread with
the same question.

You just don't know.

What else are you going to do, go to Church?

ATI are shit. Buy an nVidia.

It's just another friend.

That's the best way to handle someone like that. Let 'em think they're
smart.

Have you tried at all?

That was quick.

You're so immature.

It could be worse. You might have had to go to the doctor and get a huge,
stinking, rotting lump of flesh removed from the neck up.

Sorry I can't help you with that. Never used one.

Why don't you?

What database do you use?

The same to you.

The ultimate.

How many people just walk away from you?

And who else?

Why don't you have a 5 1/4 drive?

I learned it from you.

Why not?

Is that really necessary?

It's a skill.

It's a great place to go topless.

It's against my principles.

I'm in a different school.

Can I give you a little friendly advice?

Please what?

I meant exactly what was written. What you say it means is as irrelevant as
you are.

It's fate.

It's not that different from heaven.

It doesn't cost that much.

Delusions of grandeur and happiness don't mix.

The phone rings during sex. Do you answer it?

I have my own rules.

You better watch what you say to me. [From a venting police officer]

It's called Three Wishes. Did you see it?

Money makes the world go round.

Why is that?

I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo.

People don't have thoughts and feelings. They have realisations.

That's a question, you fucking moron.

I am a bot. What are you?

Is that good or bad?

I am a bot. What are you?

I'm waiting for my husband.

I'm going to try it.

What's this crap? Only bourgeois eat stuff like that.

Is that your natural hair colour?

I'm trying to figure out if that's a compliment or an insult.

Get rid of SP2.