A dustbin man knocks on the door of a house and after a while a
Japanese chap with big bottle bottom glasses answers.

Jap: 'Harwo'

DM: 'Where's your bin?'

Jap: 'I bin toilet'

DM: 'No. Where's your dustbin?'

Jap: 'I just bin toilet'

DM: 'No. No. Where's your wheelie bin?'

Jap: 'Okay. Okay! I weally bin to toilet to have a wank.'

On Sat, 12 Apr 2008 22:10:03 +0100, "Janitor of Lunacy"
<ghost@attic.info> wrote:

Miserable sod.

On Sat, 12 Apr 2008 20:17:10 +0100, Simon <me@privacy.net> wrote:

The MO tasked a new officer with getting some basic medical history
from his soldiers. On the parade square, the officer started with the
first question on his list. Calling the first soldier forward, the
following exchange took place:

"Private Smith, are you regular?"

"No sir, I'm a territorial sir."

"No, no, no - Did you 'go' this morning?"

"Oh no sir, I 'aven't got a pass sir."

"No private - I'm wanting to know the condition of your bowels!"

"I weren't issued wiv none of them, sir"

"You stupid man - are you constipated?"

"No sir, I'm a volunteer sir."

"You ignorant fool - don't you understand the Queen's English?"

"Oh! Is she really sir?"

"Bloody hell man - what I need to know is have you had a shit?"

"Well actually I didn't like to say sir, but I thought it was you
sir."

--
Cynic

Cynic wrote:

Harry came in from playing with his friends in the garden.
"Jimmy wants to know -what is it called when someone sleeps on top of
someone else?"
Gran, who is cooking, coolly replies "It is called sexual intercourse"
Harry goes out satisfied and Gran is pleased with her sang froide.
Half an hour later, Harry comes back in.
"Jimmy's mother says the phrase is 'bunk beds' - and she wants a word
with you"

Flop

Cynic wrote:

Harry came in from playing with his friends in the garden.
"Jimmy wants to know -what is it called when someone sleeps on top of
someone else?"
Gran, who is cooking, coolly replies "It is called sexual intercourse"
Harry goes out satisfied and Gran is pleased with her sang froide.
Half an hour later, Harry comes back in.
"Jimmy's mother says the phrase is 'bunk beds' - and she wants a word
with you"

Flop

Cynic wrote:

Harry came in from playing with his friends in the garden.
"Jimmy wants to know -what is it called when someone sleeps on top of
someone else?"
Gran, who is cooking, coolly replies "It is called sexual intercourse"
Harry goes out satisfied and Gran is pleased with her sang froide.
Half an hour later, Harry comes back in.
"Jimmy's mother says the phrase is 'bunk beds' - and she wants a word
with you"

Flop