You swine. You vulgar little maggot. Don't you know that you are pathetic?
You worthless bag of filth. I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot
with instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away.
I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you.

You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate,
noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise
everything about you. You are a bloody nardless newbie twit protohominid
chromosomally aberrant caricature of a coprophagic cloacal parasitic pond
scum. and I wish you would go away.

You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm
deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a
weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a
revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.

You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly
with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this
world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the
puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in
recognition of what they had done.

I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as
you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformaty. I barf at the very thought
of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are
vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of
this earth. And did I mention you smell?

If you aren't an idiot, you made a world-class effort at simulating one.
Try to edit your writing of unnecessary material before attempting to
impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will
still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more
rapidly.

You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its
beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly
briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of
your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your
own trite, foolish beliefs.

You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty
and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus.
Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are
unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that
reality forgot.

And what meaning do you expect your delusional self-important statements of
unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold
that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more
weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle,
waiting for the bite of the snake?

You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and
obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living
emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease,
you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meatslapper.

On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient
in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are
dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all
unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.

I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid.
Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the
stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are
trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that
even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect
can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury
stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in
a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our
universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial
fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a
stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of
physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of
stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I
don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half
baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel.

The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away
most of your of what you wrote, because, well... it didn't really say
anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was pitiful. I
mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of
babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have
learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True,
these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for
granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes
forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these
things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then I would
have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of
like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the
emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on
you.

With all my love,

Mom and Dad

P.S.:
You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly,
deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent,
opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted,
racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic,
insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine,
conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic,
ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive,
double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic,
fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased,
suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy,
weird, dystrophic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic,
jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive,
mind-numbing, abrasive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive,
socially-retarded, puerile, clueless, and generally Not Good.