CIA CONFIRMS HACKERS CAUSED MOON'S POWER OUTAGE
The SANS Internet Storm Center has raised its threat level to "Orange" after
the CIA notified them that hackers were behind the massive power outage on
the moon that was visible from Earth on Wednesday evening. Reading from a
prepared statement, Alan Paller, CIA's top liaison at SANS, quoted CIA
senior analyst Tom Donahue, the world's leading authority on power outages,
as saying "we have information, from multiple regions outside the United
States, of cyber intrusions into lunar utilities, followed by extortion
demands. We suspect, but cannot confirm, that some of these attackers had
the benefit of celestial knowledge. We have information that cyberattacks
have been used to disrupt power equipment across the entire moon's surface.
On February 20th, the disruption caused a power outage affecting every
visible location on the moon. We do not know who executed these attacks or
why, but all involved intrusions through the Internet."

Paller, speaking to reporters at a hastily convened press conference,
explained that the moon's lights went out "over a very long period of time
and in a smooth-curve wave form that traveled evenly across the entire
surface that was visible to the United States at exactly the time when
everyone could see it. If this had been a purely accidental power failure,
the lights would have gone out all at once in a very short period of time,
or they would have failed across regions in a somewhat random sequence, and
it probably would have happened at a time when not everyone could view it.
So while the CIA did not confirm it, we must conclude the moon's power
outage was of an 'intelligent design' and therefore could only have been
caused by hackers."